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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

You Can Have It ALL!!!

I see lots of women who are just overloaded. They have a full-time job, children to raise, a marriage to maintain, other family members to deal with, social obligations and Lord knows what else. Growing up, the message for some women was, "you can have it all!" And so, we thought that was the ideal to pursue: having it ALL.

These same women desperately try to make it all work as perfectly as they can. And they are so HARD on themselves because they aren't Superwoman. You see, they have ALL OF THAT responsibility that I listed above and then wonder why they can't muster up more energy to work out five days a week and look like a fitness model.

"But, look at Susie over there! She has just as much on her plate and can do it! She can go to Zumba five times a week!! And she wears a size 4!"

"I commute an hour each way, am responsible for feeding my family, have to help my kids with their homework, and, well, I know I'm just making excuses, but...I'm just too tired to go to the gym. I wish I weren't so lazy."


Well, what if I don't WANT IT ALL?? What if I can't HANDLE it all???

Sometimes, the idea that we have to "have it all" hurts us more than it helps us. It causes us to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It makes it easy to fall into the comparison trap. We look at others who "seem to have it all and make it look easy" and we wonder what the hell is wrong with us.

Stop. Stop thinking you have to "have it all". You don't. We all have our own individual threshold for what we can and cannot handle and that's okay. It doesn't matter what Susie over there is doing. That's her business. Besides, you can't judge a book by its cover. Appearances aren't always what they seem. Public lives and private lives don't always match. You don't know what is happening behind closed doors.

Instead of keeping up with the Joneses, ask yourself: What are YOU doing? What do you want YOUR life to look like? That is where the focus needs to be.

And, for heaven's sake, be a little kinder to yourself. Yes, an exercise routine can be part of a healthy lifestyle, but not when it's a "should" or a "have to", not to mention it is more stress on the body which, if the body is already stressed, will hurt more than it will help. It's not healthy when we are already burning the candle at both ends and then try to add something else to the mix.

Take a deep breath and let yourself off the hook. Figure out what part of "having it all" makes sense to you and then just let the rest of that crap go. You don't have to be Superwoman.

Sometimes, having it all is realizing that you don't. And that's just fine.

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