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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Rebel With a Cause

"Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the essence of being." -- Albert Camus

I think I will have to add a fifth "R" to my blog:  Ranting, Rambling, Rebuilding, Running and Rebelling.  I am embracing my inner rebellious, misunderstood "angst-ridden" teenager.

And, you know what?  I kinda like it.

Did you know that I have an intense desire for independence and freedom?

Well, I do.

In other words, I don't like being told what to do.  Never have.

My mom tells me the story of when I was a little toddler, curious about everything I could get my hands on.  I picked something up to closely examine it.  It must have been something breakable or "non kid friendly", because she grabbed it out of my hands with a firm, admonishing "NO!".  Apparently, this was not enough of a deterrent and I tried to reclaim what I thought was mine.  This resulted in another loud, resounding "NO", however, this time, it was followed by a little slap on my hand.  I gasped while pulling my hand close to my body.  Then, while maintaining steady eye contact with my mother...

I tried to pick it up again.

Slow learner?  Perhaps.

I prefer to think of it as being fearless enough to go after what I want regardless of what anyone else does or thinks (even if it IS my mother).

Fast forward 38ish years and, well, not much has changed.  Oh sure, I went through my teen/adolescent years wanting to please others and wasn't 100% secure in who I was or what I wanted, which did influence some of my decision making.  But, at my core, I've always wanted FREEDOM:  the freedom to make up my own mind and do what feels best in all areas of life.

One day, I woke up and I realized:  I'm tired of RULES. I'm tired of SHOULDS.  I'm tired of GOALS.  I'm tired of STANDARDS.

Simply stated, I have had enough.  I don't want to follow the latest crazes.  I don't care about blending in.

I am tired of the bandwagon of the week.  I am tired of the "EXPERTS". 


I just want to BE. 

More being.  Less doing.  I want to be happy.

That's it.  That is where my "aspirations" begin and end.

For the first time in my life I know with absolute certainty that I don't have anything to prove to anyone. 

And all of that is SO okay.

It's high time that we all learned how to trust ourselves.  What other people think we should do is no longer going to cut it.  They are not us.  We must take the time to go within.  We must be willing to be alone with ourselves in the quiet and stillness.  Then, and only then, we will hear our inner voice (aka: your intuition).  Take the time to be with yourself.  Take the time to find out what rings your bell, what floats your boat, what works.  Don't let Dr. So and So on that daytime talk show tell you how to live your life. 


If you're like me and you're tired of hearing all of the chatter about how we should eat, what we should watch, who we should talk to and what we should do for exercise, do yourself a favor:  try channeling YOUR inner James Dean.  Because you have one too.

Want to get the most out of life?  It's quite simple.

Do what you want.  Ask yourself what that is.  Listen for the answer.  Then, do what feels best.

“Originality is the best form of rebellion.” -- Mike Sasso