In the Name of Health?

In my coaching practice, I see lots of women who say they want to lose weight "for health reasons". Sometimes, this is a valid reason, so, then I ask them what health concerns they have. Then, they look a little confused. "What do you mean?" I then reiterate the question, and ask them specifically about their blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, liver profile, sleep habits, relationships, work/life balance, etc. The majority of the time, most of these markers are within the normal range. (This is typical with women who say they want to lose 10-30 lbs.)

Then, I say, "You told me you wanted to lose weight to be healthier, yet you seem to be healthy already. So, why do you REALLY want to lose weight?"

The answer: We have been taught to associate skinny/thin with healthy. In fact, we are so deeply entrenched in this cultural notion that we are willing to engage in UNHEALTHY measures (extreme caloric restriction, diet pills, excessive exercise) to achieve a "healthy body". These women aren't consciously lying to themselves about why they want to be "thin". They really believe what they have been told!

Does that sound a little misguided to you?

Sometimes skinny/thin DOES equal healthy if THE PERSON IS GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED TO BE SKINNY. Not all of us are and that is okay. Don't try to make a cat a dog. If you have to resort to unhealthy measures in an attempt to be skinny, that is exactly what you are trying to do and you will find nothing but frustration and misery.

We need to learn how to pick apart these cognitive distortions about what is healthy and what isn't. We need to learn how to embrace our own unique body type and honor it by feeding it well and giving it ample amounts of movement and rest.

There is nothing healthy about trying to be something other than who you are. There is nothing healthy about self-hate.

The Joy of...Aging???

Imagine for a moment a woman in her early 50's, 60's, or even 70's, watching a twenty-something year old girl and saying things like, "I wish I looked like that. Why can't I be more like her?"

This kind of stuff happens, particularly in gyms. I work in one, so I witness this. A lot.

We are only meant to be twenty-something once. It's just a mere stop along the road of life. Why are we so hell bent against getting older? Is it the messages of the media, which is constantly pushing "anti-aging" products, sending us the message that growing older is unacceptable? Are we that afraid of losing our youth??

Okay, I get it. Once upon a time, your body may have been tighter. Your skin may have been smoother. Your hair may have been less gray.

Once upon a time, I was twenty-something. My body was tighter, my skin was smoother, my hair was not gray (actually, it still isn't, thanks to genetics, but I digress). I was also insecure about my body, unsure about life and my place in it and questioned myself all the time. I was constantly in need of approval and validation. I needed to be noticed. I needed to be loved. I needed others to build me up.

Then, I turned 40. At that moment, things began to change for me. I no longer wanted to look "twenty-something" simply because, I wasn't. I was ready to move forward. I was ready to embrace the next stage of my life. It was going to happen anyway, whether I chose to go along with it or not, so why fight it? I owned my 40 year old body, my 40 year old skin and my 40 year old hair. I also realized I was more secure with my body and more sure about life. I had my own approval which meant more than anyone else's, for the first time EVER. I felt love deep in my core. I felt validated just by my own existence in the world. I'm now 43 and it just keeps...getting...better.

Trading a tighter body and smoother skin for all of that amazing stuff? I would do it ten times over without a single backward glance.

Let yourself BE where you are. Relish it. Live your life on purpose. Aging is not a curse. It's a reward. It's your time to step into your own power. Realize that the physical part of you isn't the most important. It's the knowledge contained within that is.

Be Kind

We're too hard on ourselves. We expect to have the perfect body, the perfect diet, the perfect job, the perfect relationships.

The perfect life.

Life is not perfect.

Life is about growing into your fullest potential. Life is about discovering who you are and why you are here. Sometimes, it's hard. There are days where you just don't like who and where you are. It can be real messy.

But, hear this: nothing in life is permanent. Everything is temporary. Sadness won't go on forever. Neither will happiness.

We experience each at different times in our lives for very important reasons. If it weren't for the sadness, we wouldn't appreciate the moments of happiness. If all we had was happiness, we might take it for granted and stop trying to become more. It hurts to hurt, but that's how we grow. Some of the most painful times in my life led to some of the most amazing parts of ME. The lessons I learned and the wisdom I gained wouldn't have come to me otherwise. Pain is a gift to bring us to joy.

So, today, whatever you are doing, and wherever you are doing it, please remember to be kind to yourself.

There are lots of people out there who are willing to make you feel unhappy, unloved and unworthy.

Don't help them.

What Will You Choose?

While you are spending energy and time hating your body and obsessing about your diet:

-- books remain unwritten
-- portraits are not painted
-- adventures are not experienced
-- art is not created

While you are locked in a cycle of self-abuse and hate:

-- healthy relationships aren't being cultivated
-- happiness is not being enjoyed
-- your potential can't be realized
-- life is passing you by

YOU have a purpose for being here and until you stop playing small, you cannot possibly live the way you are meant to live.

You can't rewrite the past, but you can certainly refocus in the present. It's never too late to make a change.

There is still time to be what you want to be.

You Are An Experiment Of One!

Remember, there are no absolutes in fitness and food. There is no ONE right way to move or eat, no matter what anyone tries to tell you.

I tried so many ways of eating and moving in the past 30 years. Whenever I would "go off plan", I would berate myself for having failed. It never occurred to me that perhaps the plan failed ME instead of the other way around.

Perhaps you have done the same thing.

Today, things are much different. Now, I move and eat the way I am inspired to. I experimented with lots of different ideas until I found a system that fits ME instead of trying to conform to a SYSTEM.  Turns out, I really DO love running.  I've done it for over 12 years and it seems to work for me.  It's the ultimate mind/body "moving meditation" activity, in my opinion.  There is nothing else I'd rather do more than run.  However, I'm under no illusions that it is THE only way to move.  Perhaps you prefer biking, or kickboxing, or yoga, or hiking.  Doesn't matter what it is.  The only thing that matters is that you DO it.  Period.

There is no ONE right way for all, but there is ONE right way for you. Keep trying. You'll find it.

Peace, Love, and Food for Me

It took me over 40 years to stop wishing I was someone else. I was in pain and suffering about my body for so long. I flip flopped between an almost "superhuman" desire to whittle myself down by exercising 2-4 hours a day and the overwhelming need to eat everything I could get my hands on.

The true definition of "yo yo" dieting. Back and forth, back and forth...

When I had my epiphany and began the process of healing, I decided to start my facebook page (January 2013). I called it the Love Your Body Project because I knew this would take some time. A project, which is an individual enterprise that is carefully planned and designed to achieve a particular aim, can take weeks, months, or even years, depending on how long it took me to learn and absorb the lessons along the way.

The Peace, Love and Food part was sort of my process to get where I am. First, I had to make PEACE with my body as it was in order to learn how to LOVE it. I could no longer withhold my own approval if I wanted to move forward. I had to decide that if my body never changed, I would accept and care for it as it was. Period. I would choose to love it unconditionally. Part of loving it is nourishing it when it needs FOOD. I would release my food fears, let go of labeling, and eat freely. So, it seemed like the perfect name for the page and captured what my journey was like.

Now, I'm 43 years old and I feel pretty good about the skin I am in. I'm a lot more confident now. I no longer need to rely so much on other people's advice. I'm more tuned in to what my body needs and wants, which took a lot of practice and time. But, it was time well spent. I am more relaxed about eating now than I ever was. I eat when I'm hungry most of the time. I stop eating when I'm full most of the time. I may not get it right every single day, but I am not in guilt or shame. I don't beat myself up. I'm human and I do not need to be "perfect" to love myself or be loved by others.

May today be the day that you make PEACE with your body as it is and take those steps towards LOVE and FOOD. You are worth the effort!

Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First

Never underestimate the importance of self-care, particularly if you are in a coaching, helping, healing or teaching profession. You expend a lot of energy being there for others, educating, helping navigate challenges, and just holding space for them to express themselves.

I love what I do. I'm thankful for the people I work for and with. It's very rewarding. But, sometimes, I need a break. Sometimes, I need to not be a coach or a co-worker or an employee or a trainer. Sometimes, I just need to be Cyndi puttering around the house, getting my hair done, sipping a margarita with a friend or sleeping in. Sometimes, I need to stay in my pj's until noon. Sometimes, I need to be away from anything fitness and health related. 

It's all okay and it's all important.

I was starting to feel a little frayed at the ends, and I knew a time out was in order. So, to that end, I am taking a FOUR DAY WEEKEND. Starting today, I'll be doing all of the activities described above, and then some, until Tuesday at noon when I report back for duty. I'm confident that I'll be energized, inspired, invigorated and refreshed.

How do you practice self-care?

Eating and Exercising

There is no one right way to eat. There is no one right way to exercise. What works for you may not work for someone else. What didn't work for you may work perfectly for someone else.

I do not do crossfit because it doesn't interest me, but I support your choice to do it.

I do not practice veganism or vegetarianism because it doesn't work for me, but I support your choice to eat that way.

I am not a fan of Zumba (my hips don't lie -- they don't move that way), but I support your choice to be devoted to and enthusiastic about it.

I am not a promoter of Paleo/Hunter/Gatherer Diets, but I won't try to talk you out of eating that way if you like it.

See a pattern?

I had to go through a MYRIAD of dietary regimes and exercise programs before I found something that works for me. I had to find my own way. So do you. So do your family members and friends. If someone asks for your advice, of course, give it. Otherwise, just let them be and trust they can figure out what's best for themselves.

We can promote what works for us by living it. Plain and simple.

*** You can find the Love Your Body Project: Peace, Love and Food on facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/LoveYourBodyProjectPeaceLoveAndFood?fref=nf

Wisdom on a Wednesday

Be the kind of person you would want a best friend to be.

Ideally, a best friend doesn't:

-- tell you that you're stupid and worthless
-- criticize you for your weight
-- think you need to be different to be loved
-- ever feel ashamed to be with you

Instead, a best friend:

-- loves you as you are
-- wants you to be happy always
-- supports you no matter what your shape or size
-- wouldn't change a thing

Be your own best friend. You need you.

Like what you see?  Find Love Your Body Project: Peace, Love and Food on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/LoveYourBodyProjectPeaceLoveAndFood?ref=hl

Will the Real Food Please Stand Up?

When I was in the mode of deprivation, dieting and restriction, I had lots of habits. I exercised as much as I possibly could, I got by on the minimal amount of calories and I used lots of substitutes. I ate things that were lower calorie and I did my best to talk myself into liking them.

Some of these substitutes were:

-- spray "butter" instead of butter
-- spaghetti squash instead of pasta
-- mashed cauliflower instead of potatoes
-- protein bars that tasted like plastic
-- sugar free/fat free everything

I reached for these things, hoping they would fill the space, but they never did. It brought a few minutes of relief, but the thoughts of the foods I really wanted always returned. When I hit rock bottom and decided never to diet again, I rebelled against this behavior. I got angry that I felt like I had to go without and eat things I didn't enjoy, and I vowed that I would do my best to honor my cravings from this moment forward.
If you like spaghetti squash, eat it. If you like cauliflower, eat it. And, if you like pasta and potatoes, eat them too. It's okay to like pasta. It's okay to like potatoes. It's okay to not like substitutes.

You're okay.


(If you like this content, find Love Your Body Project on FB:  https://www.facebook.com/LoveYourBodyProjectPeaceLoveAndFood?ref=hl)

A Different Kind of "Activity Tracker"

I used to log my workouts and post them on facebook so I could tell the world at large how many miles I ran or how many push ups I did. Reflecting on this practice got me thinking...

Wouldn't it be AWESOME if we had a tracker for self-love activities and non scale victories?? Some examples could include:

Today, I let go of the need to be perfect.

I high fived my reflection as I passed the mirror today.

Instead of pushing through a workout when stressed and tired, I rested.

Enjoyed sharing a brownie sundae with my best friend.

Went one whole day without criticizing myself.

Oh the possibilities!

The "importance" of appearance

There is so much emphasis placed on physical appearance. We are constantly bombarded with ways to lose that last 10 lbs, fight lines and wrinkles, or find the perfect push up bra. The message is clear: you aren't okay the way you are and if you notice how happy the models/spokespeople who sell these products are, you'll buy, in the hopes of making your life better.

But, will it really? Do we need to do any of that to live a good life?

I thought about this relative to my own experience on this planet so far. I realized there were things that I have been able to accomplish that had absolutely nothing to do with "looking" a certain way:

-- I won a spelling bee in the 5th grade
-- I qualified for the Boston Marathon twice without six pack abs
-- I am a college graduate (pretty sure my mind can take the credit)

Listing these things isn't a way to toot my own horn. It serves as evidence that I didn't need to look any differently than I already do in order to be happy and do pretty awesome things.

A wise person once said, "your body is an INSTRUMENT, not an ORNAMENT."

You were born complete. No diets, creams or shape wear necessary. Focus on what you can DO and who you ARE. That's really where the action is.

Love Your Body Project: Thought of the Day

I used to think that weight loss held the key to happiness. "If only" was one of my favorite phrases. "If only" I could have visible abs, then I'd be okay. "If only" I could get rid of cellulite, then I'd be fulfilled. If only, If only If only...

I finally realized that you can't diet away insecurity and self-hate. No matter what size I was, I still took me with me. I had to stop fighting myself. I had to stop wishing I was someone else. See, sometimes people say they don't hate themselves, they just hate the extra weight they carry.

I don't think that can be true.

You cannot separate your extra weight from yourself. It is a part of you, whether you realize it or not, whether you currently like it or not. If you don't choose to own it, then you are rejecting it, therefore, you are rejecting YOU. Can you love yourself and still take steps towards changing your body? I believe that you can if those steps are taken in the name of self-care and love. Eating food that pleases your palate and nourishes you when you feel hunger is one of the most nurturing things you can do for yourself. So is moving your body in ways that you enjoy. Starting with the inside can transform the outside.

Doing these things for their own sake instead of using weight loss as the only reason will get you where you want to go a heck of a lot faster. As counterintuitive as it may sound, you cannot get where you want to go until you make peace with where you are right now. I had to decide, for my own sanity, that my body didn't need to change one bit for me to care for and love it as it was. Once I began caring for and loving my body, I knew what it was to care for and love myself.

You've gotta own it. And then, you've gotta take care of what's yours.

Love Your Body Project: Peace, Love and Food

Wow!  It has been a VERY long time since I've been "alive and well" in the blogosphere.

But, I have been writing.

I have been on a journey of self-acceptance and body love for some time now.  I'm happy to report that I'm getting further and further along on my journey every single day.  In January, I was inspired and led to start a Facebook Page called "Love Your Body Project: Peace, Love and Food".  In the past 3 months, we have gotten 770 likes and I couldn't be happier about what I am co-creating with these wonderful people who are beginning to chime in and share their hearts.

Here is a sample of what we talk about:

"If you hate yourself because you are 'overweight', 'chubby', or 'obese', it's likely that you would hate yourself being 'thin' or 'lean' as well. Weight loss is not a magic bullet. It doesn't magically fix all of your self-esteem issues. People who have lost significant amounts of weight often times trade one problem for another. They suffered the pain of obesity and endured the negative social stigma of it

Then, they lose weight. Maybe it's 10 lbs., 20 lbs., or 100 lbs. All of a sudden EVERYONE LOVES THEM! Compliments abound. And, yes, of course it feels good to have people say nice things to and about you.

Until you realize that you are now IN BONDAGE to their approval. Now, you must shoulder the arduous task of maintaining this new and improved body in order not to fall out of favor with the masses. So now, you diligently work to count your calories, track your workouts, and keep up with the Joneses. And soon, you'll find, that those good feelings, predicated on the positive attention you receive from others about your body, are a burden to carry. If you gain it back, you fall out of favor with the crowd.

Is that what you want? To be thin just so people love you?? Is that the kind of person you want to attract???

The time to love yourself is now. Right now. The time to make peace with your body, sans judgement, is today. If you commit to accepting yourself and practice the art of self-love and self-care, you will be happy. And if you are overweight, you will lose that weight. But that weight loss will be a side effect, not the main attraction. And the compliments will come from those that haven't learned that beauty is only skin deep, i.e. physical beauty is superficial. If you are loved only for your beauty, what happens when you age? What happens if and when your body changes??

The main attraction is loss of baggage, shame, self-hatred and cognitive distortions. That is the only kind of 'weight loss' any of us should pursue."

Please check us out on Facebook and give us a like if you feel inspired too.  

Rebel With a Cause

"Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence and an appeal to the essence of being." -- Albert Camus

I think I will have to add a fifth "R" to my blog:  Ranting, Rambling, Rebuilding, Running and Rebelling.  I am embracing my inner rebellious, misunderstood "angst-ridden" teenager.

And, you know what?  I kinda like it.

Did you know that I have an intense desire for independence and freedom?

Well, I do.

In other words, I don't like being told what to do.  Never have.

My mom tells me the story of when I was a little toddler, curious about everything I could get my hands on.  I picked something up to closely examine it.  It must have been something breakable or "non kid friendly", because she grabbed it out of my hands with a firm, admonishing "NO!".  Apparently, this was not enough of a deterrent and I tried to reclaim what I thought was mine.  This resulted in another loud, resounding "NO", however, this time, it was followed by a little slap on my hand.  I gasped while pulling my hand close to my body.  Then, while maintaining steady eye contact with my mother...

I tried to pick it up again.

Slow learner?  Perhaps.

I prefer to think of it as being fearless enough to go after what I want regardless of what anyone else does or thinks (even if it IS my mother).

Fast forward 38ish years and, well, not much has changed.  Oh sure, I went through my teen/adolescent years wanting to please others and wasn't 100% secure in who I was or what I wanted, which did influence some of my decision making.  But, at my core, I've always wanted FREEDOM:  the freedom to make up my own mind and do what feels best in all areas of life.

One day, I woke up and I realized:  I'm tired of RULES. I'm tired of SHOULDS.  I'm tired of GOALS.  I'm tired of STANDARDS.


Simply stated, I have had enough.  I don't want to follow the latest crazes.  I don't care about blending in.

I am tired of the bandwagon of the week.  I am tired of the "EXPERTS". 

PEOPLE!!!  ENOUGH!!!

I just want to BE. 

More being.  Less doing.  I want to be happy.

That's it.  That is where my "aspirations" begin and end.



For the first time in my life I know with absolute certainty that I don't have anything to prove to anyone. 

And all of that is SO okay.

It's high time that we all learned how to trust ourselves.  What other people think we should do is no longer going to cut it.  They are not us.  We must take the time to go within.  We must be willing to be alone with ourselves in the quiet and stillness.  Then, and only then, we will hear our inner voice (aka: your intuition).  Take the time to be with yourself.  Take the time to find out what rings your bell, what floats your boat, what works.  Don't let Dr. So and So on that daytime talk show tell you how to live your life. 

DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID ANYMORE!!!!!!

If you're like me and you're tired of hearing all of the chatter about how we should eat, what we should watch, who we should talk to and what we should do for exercise, do yourself a favor:  try channeling YOUR inner James Dean.  Because you have one too.

Want to get the most out of life?  It's quite simple.

Do what you want.  Ask yourself what that is.  Listen for the answer.  Then, do what feels best.

“Originality is the best form of rebellion.” -- Mike Sasso

Who Are You?

  “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.” -- Mark Twain

 Here's a tip:  Learn to live authentically. Be you!

Get to know yourself! What do you want? What do you like? What makes you feel alive? What rings your bell, so to speak?

It's amazing how many people CANNOT answer those questions off the cuff because they have spent their ENTIRE LIVES doing what they thought they "were supposed to" or "should do". We were taught from childhood to put other people before ourselves. That we shouldn't be "selfish". As a result, we've lost touch with who we really are. We don't even trust ourselves half the time. We pay more attention to the advice of other people instead of our own intuition.

How screwy IS THAT? Who could possibly know you better than, well...YOU???

In addition to figuring out what feels best, let's make peace with the fact that we are meant to evolve. We are not "static". What worked for us last week, last month or last year just might not do it for us today or tomorrow.

For example...

I have been a "runner" for about 10 years now.  It's obviously been a HUGE part of my life (it's the 4th "R" in my blog title, after all).  Here's a shocking statement:  I haven't run a step for the past week. Am I sick? No. Injured? No. Too busy, maybe? Uh Uh. I spent the whole morning and early part of the afternoon in my pj's, for Pete's Sake. And it's a beautiful day here in New England. I can't even use inclement weather as an excuse.

It's just not "ringing my bell" right now. The thought of it doesn't feel good. I'd rather go for long walks, sit in contemplation/meditation, engage in yoga or do body weight strength training exercises like push ups, planks and lunges. That's what feels best right now. That's what I want to do.

So, I'm doing it. No guilt, no shame, no regret. Yes, I have been known and defined as a "runner" by many people. They think of running and they think of me. But, that's not all of me. That's only a fragment of who I am. I don't lose myself because I cease to engage in an activity. I'm still me.

Maybe I'll get the desire to run again. And maybe I won't. Truly, it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that I'm paying attention to and doing what feels best.

May I suggest that you consider doing the same? 

But, only if it feels best. 

Don't just take my word for it. :-)

“You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need.”  -- Jerry Gillies

 

For Mom

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." -- Honoré de Balzac

Shhhhhhh, don't show this to my mother.  It'll make her cry.  (She's such a softie)

But, it is high time that I recognized the woman who carried me in her belly for nine months (or maybe a little more than that; punctuality wasn't my strong suit).

Several months ago, I blogged about the emergence of my sibling, Howard (Like Sands Through the Hourglass).  It has been a happy revelation for all of us.  When I shared my story about him, I didn't really delve too much into the details.  Basically, I shared that he was given up for adoption because my mother was a single woman in the 1960's who couldn't shoulder the responsibility of caring for a child.

Notice I didn't say "shouldn't" or "wouldn't".  I say "couldn't" because I believe she had no choice in the matter.  Little did I know back then, that my mother was part of a group of women who surrendered their babies between 1945-1973; a group that is 1.5 million strong, in fact.

The book "The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Kessler, chronicles this period in history.  It was the postwar economic boom that essentially created the middle class.  Image was everything and the thought of losing social status because your child was unmarried and pregnant was just unthinkable (sad, but true).

I haven't read the book yet, although I have been looking at the website and reading the description and reviews.  Each one I read gives me a deeper understanding of what it must have been like for my mother who was indeed one of the "girls who went away".  She was sent off to a home for unwed mothers to have her baby alone.

What makes this even more of a poignant tale is that the woman who sent my mother away (my grandmother, obviously) is now 93 and in the throes of Alzheimer's.  My mother has spent the last month or so on the east coast (she lives in AZ) organizing her affairs and helping her transition to an Assisted Living Facility.  To say that I am proud of her for stepping up and taking responsibility doesn't even begin to cover it.  Now, don't misunderstand me here; I advocate forgiveness.  I don't believe there is anything to be gained in holding a grudge.  However, considering what happened between the two of them, I  wouldn't fault her for any lingering resentment that she may harbor.  But, she's stepping up and taking care of business like a champ.  Truly inspiring.

My mother and I have had our ups and downs through the years.  We didn't always see eye to eye; hardly ever, in fact.  I thought she was a victim and she thought I was strong willed and critical (we were probably both right).  I didn't always appreciate her as often as I could have.  However, I never questioned her love for me or my brothers.  This experience has shown me a new side of her:  strong, capable, fearless.

Perhaps it's not new at all.  It may have been there all along and I just didn't have the maturity to see it.

Maybe it's the wisdom that accompanies getting older or maybe we're just both adapting to each other.

I'm not sure.  And, truly, it doesn't really matter.

Today, I dedicate my blog space to my mother.  You have my respect and admiration.

I am proud.  And I love you.

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." --Mark Twain

My Thought of the Day

Happy Tuesday, friends.  I'm still working out this inconsistent blogging thing.  I'll get there.  :-)

I HAVE been writing, sort of.

I posted this in my Team Cyndi Lou/AdvoCare Facebook group earlier today.  I thought that the blog would also be a good place for it.  Here is Cyndi's Thought of the Day:

Tough Love. Sometimes we need it.

About 5 years ago, I had a defining moment. Without going into too much detail, I had struggled with a personal issue for most of my life. I just didn't see a way out of or around it. I was doing the best I could, however, I was still not who or where I wanted to be. This issue had impacted my quality of life for sometime. As we know, what affects us also affects the ones we love and live with.

This had become a recurring source of frustration for my husband and me. To his credit, he is pretty laid back about things, but even he had a breaking point. After having an emotionally charged discussion about it, again, he looked at me and said, "Honey, I love you, but I can't fix this for you. This is something you'll have to do yourself."

And finally, at that moment, the light bulb went on. Brightly. I realized that it was no one's responsibility but my OWN and no matter what had transpired in my life up to that point, I had the ability and the power to alter my course.

So I did. Just like that. Thanks to my husband's tough love, my eyes were opened. It was like a huge splash of cold water in my face. I woke up. And I got to work.

I'm all for loving people through things, and I'm all for being kind and compassionate. But sometimes, we all need to get a cold avalanche of water in the face.

Here's yours: WAKE UP! GET OVER IT!! Take responsibility! Stop blaming people! Grow up!

Put the big boy/girl pants on and just DO whatever it is you have been wanting to do. No more excuses. No more wishing. No more hoping.

Take control of your own life. It's time.

The Good, The Better And The Best

"No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive." -- John Cassavetes

(or in my case "woman-child")

It's been a while since I checked in with the 4 R's.  I like the idea of posting every day or, at the very least, every week.  Putting it into practice, however, seems to be another issue altogether.  Perhaps it'll just take some time for the idea to catch up to the actual habit of doing it.

Or maybe it won't.  Time will tell.

I've been happily traveling along life's trail since my last post at the end of April.

I've gone to a Red Sox game at Fenway park, celebrated a dear friend's 40th birthday in May, as well as my own 11 year wedding anniversary to my best friend. 


I've gone to graduation parties, holiday weekend parties and lots of physical therapy for da feet.  :-)


On June 1st, I was both honored and privileged to be a bridesmaid (bridesmatron just sounds too stuffy) for my southern belle pal, Sarah, as she exchanged vows with her sweetheart.


Perhaps one of the most life altering events that transpired since my last entry was meeting my brother, Howard, face to face (check out "Like Sands Through the Hourglass" for the scoop on that one).  As soon as we hugged, I felt connected.  Not only was he incredibly awesome, but his wife and son, Julian, are top notch as well.  It took a little getting used to, but now it feels natural to say that I have TWO brothers instead of ONE. 


Such a blessing.


I have been successfully growing my AdvoCare business, which makes me very happy.  When I first got involved last June, I had no idea it would explode like it has and I couldn't be more thrilled.  In fact, I pinned Silver in May, which is the first level of leadership!  Not only am I looking and feeling better than ever, but I'm making $1500-$2000/month on a part-time basis.  Thanks to the support of my sponsor and the belief in my distributors, I expect that number to double by the end of the year.  We are changing lives and it feels amazing.


The racing drought is OVAH too...sorta.


Cyndi Lou finally shook the dust off and ran a 5K at the end of June.  The Plaistow Old Home Day 5K was my very first race (June 2003).  It is the only event I have NOT missed since I first started doing races.  It wasn't the fastest time ever done by these two feet, but it was good enough to earn a 1st place trophy in the F40-49 division.  But, the best part of all was that the day was shared by friends, particularly my husband, who opted to run too.


Memories.  I love making them. 


I'm still honoring my "365 days of Thanksgiving" commitment that I made last September.  Today is day 301.  Time flies when you are appreciating things.


Usually, my blog entries consist of humorous anecdotes, stories or life lessons.  I experience something in life and feel led to write about it, in the hopes that it will reach someone out there that may need to hear it.  This one, instead, is more like cramming two and a half months of activity into several paragraphs.  It doesn't necessarily have a "beginning, middle and end" or a moral to take away.


I just wanted to share my joy.  I have lots of it these days.  :-)


“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”-- Mark Twain

Follow Your Feel Good

"If you're happy, if you're feeling good, then nothing else matters." -- Robin Wright Penn

One of the things I have been focusing on these days is "following my feel good".  In the past, I have been many things:  a disordered eater, a know it all, slightly overweight, critical, judgmental, rigid in my thinking, a people pleaser and, perhaps, other labels that escape me at the moment.  All of these tendencies and behaviors shaped me to a certain degree and brought me to where I am today.

Which doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Unless...

I ignore good, old fashioned common sense (which isn't so "common", but I digress). 


For example...


After I ran the Chicago Marathon last fall, I noticed that my feet were sore.  Well, that's not exactly an earth shattering revelation.  I DID, in fact, run 26.2 miles without stopping.  That will definitely put some wear and tear on your little piggies.


But, then I felt it the next day.  And occasionally during the following week.  And then, the following month. 


Pretty soon, I noticed that my heels were sore first thing in the morning when I got out of bed.  Then, I felt them running downhill, sort of "slapping against" the inside of my running shoes.  Then, I started noticing it was there more than it wasn't.

So, I marched myself into the podiatrists office last November.  He gave me a prescription for Naproxen, an anti-inflammatory.  I took them intermittently and noticed a slight amount of relief.  However, once I stopped taking them, I noticed the sensation returning, which tells me it was a temporary fix at best.

In the past, I would run through aches, pains and discomfort whenever possible.  I felt bound to my sense of duty.  After all, I was always training for SOMETHING, whether it be a 5K or a marathon.  There was always something on the calendar for me to do.  What is the old expression???  Oh yeah:  one person's discipline is another person's compulsion.  I guess I was a *little* compulsive about my training.

However, since the Chicago Marathon has come and gone (10/9/11), there's been nothing on my calendar to train for.  I finally registered for a couple of races, yes, but those aren't until October of 2012.  But, because I felt bound to my sense of duty, I ran 35-50 miles per week all winter and into the spring.

That is, until this week.

I realized that I just have not been enjoying myself out there.  I haven't been looking forward to running.  It almost feels like being in a good relationship gone slightly sour.  In fact, the mere thought of it tends to exhaust me.  Why would I want to put my shoes on and run when my feet hurt???  Between my feet and the unrelenting wind, there really hasn't been much incentive for me to go out and pound the pavement.

To some, this may seem like an admission of Cyndi Lou being lazy and unmotivated.  To me, this is a HUGE sign of growth and maturity.

Why?

Because I am focusing on FOLLOWING MY FEEL GOOD!!!!  When I insist on engaging in activities and behaviors that fly in the face of this philosophy, I am not honoring my body or my spirit!  I am just...punishing myself.  And, for what?

For speed?
For conditioning?
For weight loss???

First of all, I know about and believe in muscle memory.  If I take a week, a month or even a few months off to recuperate and rest, I'll be able to retrain better and faster than a newbie just learning the sport.  Secondly, I'm just not all that concerned about my weight anymore.  I feel and look better (feet being the exception, here) at 40 than I ever have.  Between whatever exercise I have been doing (weight training, spinning, walking), eating delicious, healthy food most of the time and my AdvoCare supplements, I'm at the top of my game, physically.   


This is a HUGE breakthrough for me.  I'm coming to terms with the need for rest and I feel secure and strong in the skin that I'm in.  Now that I have worked this out in my head, I know I need to take the proper care of myself.  A very good friend of mine is a physical therapist and I told her about my sore feet over dinner.  She told me that would be easy enough to fix in 6-8 visits.  All I need to do is get a referral from my primary care physician and, voila.  I'm on the road to recovery.  It doesn't matter how long it takes.  Running will always be there.  Life is too short to do something unless you're 100% happy doing it.


I will no longer settle for less.


I love this new attitude of mine.  I love feeling free and unencumbered by cognitive distortions and false premises.  I love being able to differentiate between WANTING to do something and feeling like you HAVE TO or SHOULD.  


This fit and fabulous 40 year old will certainly choose the former over the latter.


"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." -- Michael Burke