I used to think that weight loss held the key to happiness. "If only" was one of my favorite phrases. "If only" I could have visible abs, then I'd be okay. "If only" I could get rid of cellulite, then I'd be fulfilled. If only, If only If only...
I finally realized
that you can't diet away insecurity and self-hate. No matter what size I
was, I still took me with me. I had to stop fighting myself. I had to
stop wishing I was someone else. See, sometimes people say they don't hate themselves, they just hate the extra weight they carry.
I don't think that can be true.
You cannot separate your extra weight from yourself. It is a part of
you, whether you realize it or not, whether you currently like it or
not. If you don't choose to own it, then you are rejecting it,
therefore, you are rejecting YOU. Can you love yourself and still take
steps towards changing your body? I believe that you can if those steps
are taken in the name of self-care and love. Eating food that pleases
your palate and nourishes you when you feel hunger is one of the most
nurturing things you can do for yourself. So is moving your body in
ways that you enjoy. Starting with the inside can transform the outside.
Doing these things for their own sake instead of using weight loss as
the only reason will get you where you want to go a heck of a lot
faster. As counterintuitive as it may sound, you cannot get where you
want to go until you make peace with where you are right now. I had to
decide, for my own sanity, that my body didn't need to change one bit
for me to care for and love it as it was. Once I began caring for and
loving my body, I knew what it was to care for and love myself.
You've gotta own it. And then, you've gotta take care of what's yours.