I wasn't supposed to be a healthy, strong athlete. At age 20, I was a cigarette smoker who didn't exercise and was toting around more weight than I needed. Isn't it nice to know that we aren't "supposed" to be anything forever? We get to choose all day, every day; minute by minute, moment by moment. I am not ashamed of who I was and where I came from. I am just very proud of who and where I now am.
The beauty of forgiving and loving someone? It doesn't have to be reciprocated for you to benefit from it. I had a personal relationship come to a screeching halt recently. At first, I got angry and tried the old "talk to the hand/screw you" routine. And then, I got real. I decided I was hurt. Not only was I hurt, but it was okay that I be hurt. When you lose something or someone important, the only thing to do is grieve. So, I grieved the loss of my friend. I felt the sadness. I let myself go through all of that. I have since forgiven. I continue to forgive everyday, because I choose to. And I will love. Even if I am not loved back.
Tis the season to be busy...fa la la la la...la la la laaaaaa. I work in the fitness industry and "tourist season" is in full swing. We sort of joke about it since it's the same situation every year: people come in droves only to leave the same way weeks, or days, later. I love what I do and I'm thankful that I'm in the position to help people. I can help you with an exercise plan. I can help you find healthy food to eat. I can help you find ways to take better care of yourself. But, I can't fix YOU. I can't fix the deep seated anxiety, fear, or self-loathing. Only YOU can do that. Only YOU can fix what is broken. Until that happens, my hands are tied.
Today is my first early shift back to work. I have been enjoying sleeping as long as I want, without having to set the alarm. I have had lots of animosity towards the 6-2ish shifts that I am scheduled for. I prefer waking up when my body says it's time and doing my run/workout before I start my day. In times past, I *probably* took it out on the members a teeny, weeny bit, without meaning to (i.e. what the f**k is wrong with you??? Why can't you sleep until a decent hour like a normal person?!?!?) But, it is as it should be, and this is when I am needed to be here. So, my cell alarm rang at 4:49 a.m. (what can I say? I'm quirky). I hit snooze once, then got up, dressed, brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, made my spark and left the house between 5:10-5:15. I got here 10 minutes before opening and had plenty of time to get myself settled. As I began to settle in, I noticed something: I felt light, calm and relaxed. I was...happy. I have been in a good mood all day. This has been an unexpected blessing. Maybe I should just start expecting blessings more often.
Quote of the Day:
"May the sun shine, all day long, everything go right, and nothing wrong. May those you love bring love back to you, and may all the wishes you wish come true!" -- Irish Blessing
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