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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Thoughts on a Thursday

(Just like the "Random Musings on a Friday" post, these are listed in no order of importance)

You are never too old to feel happy hearing that your parents are proud of you.  I'm a strong, independent, and self-sufficent 39 year old woman.  A few weeks ago, my mom told me she loved me and how proud she was of the woman that I've become.  I could just feel warmth and joy spreading throughout my entire body.  I don't need anyone's approval, even my parents'.  But, we can all use more love.

I am a total retro girl.  I like retro music and retro television.  I go to sleep each weeknight watching "Kojak" or "The Rockford Files".  James Garner is the man.  He had great hair.  And he reminds me of my dad.  Contrary to Telly Savalas who, well, had no hair.  But, he was cooler than the other side of the pillow, even if he smoked those long, brown, skinny cigarettes.  Both put me in my happy place.

Music is a huge part of my life.  I can't imagine going 24 hours without listening to the radio, a CD or my iPod.  I have a very diverse music library and love various styles...except for country music.  I do not enjoy country music.  It makes my teeth itch.  I love Johnny Cash, but more for his renegade spirit and persona.  I don't need to listen to his music.  Unless he is covering Trent Reznor.  Then, he rocks.

I believe I'm meant to help, teach and coach others. However, I'm not trying to be anyone's role model or heroine, nor do I want to be. That means measuring up to expectations that other people have of you and I want no part of it. I'm a very curious creature and I'm always seeking knowledge and applying it towards a better life. But, we are all unique and individual. I don't claim to have all the answers, because we all have different questions. And that's the way life is supposed to be.

Those Buddhists are really on to something.  One of my best friends is a practicing Buddhist, so I've been sort of reading about it.  And, I find it quite fascinating, not to mention comforting.  Practicing the principles of mindfulness while learning how to break attachments has given me such a sense of freedom.  I'm learning to look at things as neither good nor bad; they just are what they are. 

I think I mentioned once before that I have a tendency to come off as a bit of a "know it all".  Being aware of this has been good for me.  It's still a work in progress, but that's okay.  I still enjoy being "right" a bit more than I would care to, but I'm aware of that too.  I'm learning that it's okay to have my opinions while letting others have theirs.  Neither one needs defending.  I'm not out to change the world; just my perspective of it.

The scale and I broke up a long time ago.  I decided that a number was not going to define me.  When they say ignorance is bliss, they're not kidding.  Everything I own that I am interested in wearing fits me without cutting off my circulation or giving me a stomach ache.  So, I've got that going for me.

I decided about a year or two ago that I wasn't going to watch the news on a regular basis anymore either.  I've never felt better.  I don't feel like I "need to be informed".  I know that gas prices have gone up.  I know that there are a lot of things going on out there that people don't like.  I accept it all for what it is and hold fast to the belief that the world can be a pretty good place to live in if you want it to be.  I am a card carrying member of the human race, which is enough.

Since finishing the Boston Marathon 10 days ago, I've noticed something.  Most of the people that ask what my time was are male.  The few women that have asked exploded with joy upon hearing that I ran a 3:58.  I think I could have told them it took me six hours and they still would have been that exuberant.  It appears that time goals are more important to men versus women, at least the ones that I know. 

I think it's okay to have boundaries.  I also think it's okay to lay low and "take a time out" when you need to.  I'm surrounded by hundreds of people on a daily basis.  I spend hours upon hours tending to the needs of others.  It's very rewarding to help someone.  Sometimes, you are in need of your own attention more, though.  If we neglect ourselves, we will soon end up resenting others for invading our personal space.  Charity begins at home, friends.  You've just gotta take care of yourself, because there is no guarantee that anyone else will.

In closing, please enjoy this quote of the day:

“We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it's all about.”

-- Joseph Campbell

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