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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Day 104-Love

Today, I am thankful for love.  I am thankful for all the people in my life who have shown me what love is and continue to bless me with their affection, compassion and kindness.

In particular, on this day, I am very thankful for my husband, Michael.  We have been together for over 16 years now and have literally grown up together, having met when we were both in our 20's.  Now, I am 40 and he is 44 years young.  Our relationship has become richer and stronger in ways I couldn't possibly imagine.  We have merged our families, friends, hopes and dreams, thus becoming this giant entity of companionship.  Sometimes, I am not quite sure where I end and he begins and it's such a fun thing to experience.  We have been able to strike a balance between maintaining our own independent individuality while sharing a life as husband and wife.  I don't know how it works.  I am just glad it DOES.

I woke up this morning, deciding I wanted to make him french toast for breakfast.  Well, to make a long story short, it didn't come out quite the way I had hoped.  Being a bit of a "recovering perfectionist", I adopted an "all or nothing mentality" and threw my hands up in the air, declaring the meal, and the day, to be ruined.  My husband, God bless him, gently chided me, with love, of course, and then took it upon himself to make the french toast for us again.  I pouted and sulked a bit, but, eventually, worked my way out of my funk.  After breakfast, we sat near the tree, put on some holiday music and opened our presents. 

Truly, I confess, I was a bit overwhelmed with the day.  We had a little bit of housekeeping and preparations to attend to before my brother, his girlfriend, her mother and my father arrive to celebrate Christmas with us later on today.  Michael is much more relaxed and gracious "at being gracious" than I am.  I put too much pressure on myself to be the "hostess with the mostest".  Once I recognized what was creating my anxiety, I was able to take a couple of deep breaths and move forward, vowing to cut myself some slack and not make such a big hairy deal out of it.

The sky didn't fall.  The day wasn't ruined.  That's what love does.  It's very resilient.  It just bounces back.

On Christmas, in particular, I am reminded of the gift that I am living all day every day.  Yes, there are presents under the tree and it's fun to get "stuff", but it's just frosting on the cake.

My life IS THE CAKE. 

I really am the girl who has everything:  friendship, happiness, health, and love.

"It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves." -- John Bulwer

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