EXTERNAL SYSTEMS VS. BODY WISDOM/INTUITION

If you have ever been caught up in the world of dieting, then you might have experience with taking someone else's advice over your own body's wisdom. "They" may have told you what to eat, what to avoid, when to eat and how much of it you should have. And, you probably went along with it...for a while, because it was easier than trusting yourself. It was better, for a while, to let someone else drive, because then you wouldn't have to be responsible. 

But, it didn't last forever. It couldn't. Because it wasn't sustainable. It wasn't YOU.

That is because you are a unique individual with your own unique preferences. Did you know that? You have your own internal blueprint telling you what is appropriate for you in taste, timing and quantities. Who could POSSIBLY know you better than you??? Certainly not the diet guru "expert of the week". I have been employed in the fitness industry for several years. I used to put clients on meal plans. And yeah, they did what I said...for a while. But, it got old. And, eventually, they rebelled. Can't say I blame 'em. Had I spent my time and energy empowering them to make the right choices specific to their own body chemistry, things would have turned out differently.

Are you afraid? Are you afraid to let go and trust yourself because you don't think you'll make the "right" choices? Maybe you won't...in the beginning. Who cares! We all have to start somewhere. Think about the first time you wrote your name. The letters were probably misshapen and sloped "downhill". But, you kept doing it. You kept practicing. Now, you can write your name effortlessly without even thinking much about it.
Learning to trust your hunger, preferences and satiety signals are no different. It's a process, just like learning to walk, writing your name or driving a car. Lots of things can be unlearned, and learned.

Give yourself a chance. You're worth the effort!

Revering Weight Loss...At All Costs?

When I was fully entrenched in the "dysfunctional dieting mentality", I remember revering the occurrence of weight loss, no matter what the circumstances surrounding it happened to be. For example, I had the flu one time. I was sick for about four days. But, guess what? THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE WENT DOWN. I actually welcomed the sickness because it made me lighter. It was worth puking my guts out because WEIGHT LOSS.

Imagine that?

I ran into someone over the weekend that I haven't seen in a while. I immediately noticed she looked smaller, but kept that to myself because I've been working on not commenting on people's appearance. After a while, she called attention to it by saying that she lost 30 lbs. I told her that I thought she was beautiful at any size and my only question was, "Are you OK?" She replied that it was family stress that caused the weight loss. (In addition, she also has an auto immune disease.)

Do you see anything at all wrong with these two scenarios that I described?

We would rather be SICK and STRESSED if it means we can be SKINNY. That is not healthy. That is DISORDERED. That is the caustic effect of our culture relentlessly bombarding us with images and messages about our bodies being unacceptable.

Our bodies are not unacceptable.

We are not unacceptable.

But the pressure to be someone that we are not and the idea that weight loss is healthy no matter the method is.

The Illusion of Appearances

It is so easy to look at celebrities and think that they have it all: looks, money, a passionate relationship, etc. How many times have you read a magazine or watched a show on television while thinking, "wow, they have everything. I wish my life was more like that."

Let's take the relationship part in particular. What is more alluring and hypnotic than "two beautiful people" being "beautiful together"? Then, you hear about the breakups. Ben and Jennifer, Blake and Miranda and, the latest celebrity casualty, Will and Jada. 

We hear about this and we are SHOCKED. Our heart sinks and we die a little inside. We cry, "but they looked so HAPPY!"

Did you catch that last line? They. LOOKED. So. HAPPY. But, they weren't in the long run. At least, they weren't happy together or else they wouldn't be separating. Their looks, money, and passion just weren't enough to hold it together. And yet, we can't accept that. We are so disillusioned because we are under the impression that all we need to be happy is a beautiful face, a killer body, a model spouse and a big, fat bank account.

Do you get sucked into the comparison trap? Thanks to technology gifting us with the internet and television, it's pretty damn hard not to. We are virtually assaulted with hundreds of images on a daily basis. The media, social and otherwise, teaches us how to fall in love and worship illusions. We so desperately want the fantasy of flawless beauty and perfection because they make it look so freakin' appealing!

Appearances mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. You cannot judge a book by it's cover. No matter how good something may look on the outside, there is no guarantee that it's good on the inside. How things look in public is not an accurate representation of how they may be in private. We assume that what we SEE is how things ARE. But, they usually aren't.

Instead of watching people in Hollywood on the internet, what if we paid more attention to our own lives? Instead of wishing we had what other people have, what if we took care of what belonged to us? What would your life be like if you no longer measured it against the lives of your co-workers, favorite, actors, family, friends, or peers?

Food for thought.